| oh god. |
[19 Jun 2007|01:10pm] |
ya. i went and did it. myspace. guilty. i made it until i was almost 22 to break. that's pretty tough, right??
E-Money
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| How it goes. |
[05 Jun 2007|03:36pm] |
I am color...blind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am
taffy stuck, tongue tied
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding
I am
colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am.... fine
I am fine
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| ...Hear it all before |
[30 May 2007|11:42am] |
If you want some loving I suggest you go back there where you came from
Day to Day with you it's always something else
Working my nerve God knows I don't deserve
What you put me through cause I been so true to you
For you to come at me with another lame excuse
See I .....
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| Sweet pics. |
[20 May 2007|09:28am] |
My mom talked me into jumping this fence and taking pics of these crazy horses. This is probably the most terrifying thing I've ever done, and of course, one of them wouldn't stop following me around. This was the closest I got to petting her. But I am tough.
And finally, the leg, not shaded in yet though.
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| Park in the open |
[16 May 2007|10:49am] |
So I'm aching at the view
Yes I'm breaking at the seams just like you
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| Obvious. |
[11 May 2007|02:20pm] |
threw you the obvious and you flew
with it on your back, a name in your recollection,
thrown down among a million same.
difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed
and passed over
when i've looked right through
to see you
you don't see me.
but i threw you the obvious
just to see if there's more behind the eyes
of a fallen angel,
the eyes of a tragedy.
here i am expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded.
but i see through it all
and see you.
oh well. there's apparently nothing.
there's nothing, at all.
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[11 May 2007|01:04am] |
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and... here we go... gosh.
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| Police. |
[06 May 2007|03:51pm] |
|
I'm in the papers.
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[24 Apr 2007|11:03am] |
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I'm injured and I'm blind in one eye. I can't see. One isn't much without the other.
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[06 Apr 2007|10:32pm] |
i found her. she's just like me. a lil hound.
so i've got the whole packege of new now.
and i'm sick as a dog.
what's new.
colorado weather is shaping up to summer quite nicely.
it's gorgeous.
i live in the best place ever made.
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[03 Apr 2007|01:18pm] |
so everythings all new and stuff.
new job. new home. new beginnings.
i like being new.
now i need a dog. ill give it a bone.
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[24 Feb 2007|03:28pm] |
I'm not allowed to call you.
oh well.
but thanks for that live journal entry a WEEK ago. thanks for that.
you want a tip:
stop changing your mind and attitude all the damn time. one minute it's all hugs and tries and wants and hopes and optimisms- the next its hang ups and anger and mean posts and insults and ends.
you wonder why I just end it. im not having your tipsy turvy change minding drama blah blah in my face.
your not ACTUALLY a good person unless you do good things and let everything else go- when you demonstrate other peoples issues and bad qualities- YOU ARE NOT A GOOD OR BETTER PERSON.
just wanted to fill you in on your mistake. there is a difference.
im pretty angry right now. I was starting to send this in mourning and sadness, and look what you got me with a stupid post. great. here we go again. glad it's over though. that’s called
PREVENTION.
x.e.x
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[24 Feb 2007|03:09pm] |
I KNOW: only what is happening in front of me
I WANT: to feel him and him feel me
I HAVE: a climactic personality
I WISH: i had more solidity in my future
I HATE: people who ask too many questions when the answers can be found in silence
I MISS: having fat paychecks roll into the bank and having so much money I couldn't be afraid
I FEAR: being alone for the rest of this
I HEAR: silence. it's too quiet when I'm alone.
I SEARCH: for the answers
I WONDER: if maybe im looking in all the wrong places
I REGRET: trying to rush you, but never wanting to talk
I LOVE: the things that are truly mine and truly yours
I ACHE: in the back of my throat, that lump, oh how it rises when i think alone... and you...it wont go
I CARE: enough to give up when I have to
I AM NOT: finding the answers i want
I DANCE: all the time though
I SING: i'd rather hmm.
I CRY: when I feel good, but know it's only temporary
I DO NOT ALWAYS: know what's meant to be, but I wait for a sign
I WRITE: anytime no one is watching
I WIN: at hiding what I really think
I LOSE: in the end because ive beat it all and im not getting enough back
I CONFUSE: choices with ideas
I LISTEN: less often than i take a breath
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: in the drivers seat of a situation. or under the car.
I NEED: unconditional and undivided attention, and I also don't
I AM HAPPY ABOUT: doing really good things with my life and people around me that are finally stronger than I am
I SHOULD: just come to some sort of understanding
that's probably more than I even needed to regard.
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[10 Feb 2007|11:13pm] |
For the fourteenth time it must be laid down.
The irreplaceable link that keeps us
Whole from halfway across the big wide world.
The million questions, which we bestowed
Upon each other, and the billion
Responsibilities that go with them.
Still the solemn ships, for this will suffice.
An uncomfortable silence turned into
A bond, a new promise for the next time.
Not perfect, we acknowledged, but as close
As we could come, for now at least, I swear.
You knew about my dark life
And shared your own with my attentive ears.
All my nameless and shapeless hopes and dreams
Are made up of you, and you often try
To flirt with my thousands of fears as well.
Years and years is a long wait for this bitter
Tourist, as I search for some new support
And try to sum you up in clichéd words.
As you deflect the accusative stares
Thrown vaguely in your general direction.
Tornado alley seems a paradise
And the bible belt a blind assertion of faith.
My faith in you.
You called my name again.
And for my last trick, the biggest question
“Can I see you again this evening?”
Perhaps I will not like your final answer
But I will hang on it, nonetheless.
And try to conjure up images of
Your smile, my regret that I can feel.
x.erin.x.
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[04 Feb 2007|11:40pm] |
Today wakes up silent
And there aren't enough pills around here to sleep
And then it cuts out like a miswired shortwave radio
It's over
But nothing can change to ever make it right
When you live in a nightmare
It's written all over your face.
And in a short time
You're never the same again
The distance is streamlined
Between decision and defense:
Distorient the senses
Loss of identity
No one to trust
Life runs through this trade
I am no killer
But I still hide my face
In the coming days
I wake up every morning
From the same dream
And then I kill it
But you can't change the letters when the ink dries
I woke up on the sidewalk and everything just changed
Now the lights are blinking but I can't see anything
Everything is falling apart:
Crumpled paper
Empty pen
Broken bottles
Paper scraps
But I am the killer
(Words speak and choose
make sense and lose
capsize the tall tale, but always fail
but I wouldn't trade what I got
Not for anything.)
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[04 Feb 2007|03:51pm] |
i can tell you're having trouble breathing,
don't forget to let your life rot you inside out..
x.
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[22 Jan 2007|10:42am] |
I'm waiting for my phone call.
A whole life's about to change based on one phone call.
Hire me.
I'm the best.
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[01 Jan 2007|09:54pm] |
we're getting work done on thursday.
"i love my bitch. i love my bitch. i love my bitch." -busta
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mylifeforsale's journal
